Good Times..

I loved the movie. Nagesh Kukunoor's masterpiece, which actually is the uncredited pioneer of a slew of commercially successful offbeat movies in India. This post is about our visit to the Charminar City.


Gandhi Jayanti was falling on a Friday and we decided to hit the N.H 7 to Hyderabad. Our main agenda was - Piling onto Major Pils and Rads and doing some pearl shopping , but as usual things took a slightly different turn.

We started at half past three in the afternoon, on Thursday. After a quick air checkup at the Bridgestone pit stop on Outer Ring Road we took the right from Hebbal into N.H 7. The weather was fantastic with low hanging clouds and cool breeze. After the Nandi hills turn, the road was absolutely fabulous, and Mariam was having the time of her life driving at 120 - 130 kmph. I was drowning my anxiety in a beer, stealing gulps while Aaron was busy inspecting the flocking birds, and cows in the fields. Mariam kept her promise of driving till sundown, and I took over from Ananthpur. The rain started with full force and was almost blinding. In my experience with long drives, a rainshower should only last 40 - 50 km's while driving. This one just kept pouring and pouring, and the road before Kurnool was still being done. On top of this, Mariams nagging " Why are you going so slow, I was going so fast" was driving me nuts. I shouted " The visibility is so poor that I cant see a damn thing. If this were the visibility in Normandy on D-Day, the Allies would have been blown out of the English Channel, lost WW II and we all would have been saying Heil Hitler now". Mariam was skeptical "Now Hitler has to blame for your poor driving skills. Cant you take accountability of anything". I knew the analogy was a bit far fetched. It was probably the strain of driving more that 150 Km's in heavy rain, and innumerable truck drivers, who are unaware that most vehicles manufactured in the post Model -T era have dim and bright options in Headlights.


Finally we chugged into Kurnool, at 11 p.m. The first sign of danger was an Ambulance and some folks on the Hadri River bridge. The view in the faint moonlight was surreal , and I couldnt lay a finger on why it was so. Then it hit me. The water level was hardly a foot or two below the bridge. I have seen Dam water being opened with a deafening roar, but the sight of this was even more spine chilling. Millions of Tons of water silently moving under the bridge. We got off the car and looked over the edge. We could almost touch the water. If the bridge broke, we wouldnt even be accounted for. I decided to move fast, and drove into the town. The main road seemed to be blocked, and the locals showed us an alternate. That route too was blocked with water, of the visibly rising Tungabhadra River. We came back and pondered over staying in a hotel in Kurnool. Luckily some other locals gave us a roundabout way through the SBI officers colony that would reach the Highway. We reached NH-7 Again and crossed over the Tungabhadra, and in a few kilometers the crossed the mighty Krishna river at Beechapally. A couple of hours after we crossed , water level rose and covered the huge bridge and 70 % of the town of Kurnool under 15 feet of water.


Unawares of the destruction we were leaving behind, we continued into the rainy night towards Hyderabad, at a much faster pace, on the splendid Kurnool highway. We crossed Shamshabad Airport at around five in the morning and after asking for directions from Pills on the phone, and some locals, reached Hussainsagar Lake, with the statue of Buddha, at daybreak. Pills picked us up and we went to the Army Quarters at Thirumulghery.

To Be Continued...

As a young boy raised in Kerala, my impression of the typical Mallu Man was - The guy who called the shots in the family .. It was the same case in my house too, though my father used to try his best to get my mother involved in the executive decision making process. My Mom was more content taking care of us and doing other household stuff. I used to wonder how it would be in other households, where the Man assumes authority, making all the choices for everyone in the family. The woman not having a choice about her own education, career etc etc. I used to feel sympathetic towards women, and was determined that when I grew up, I will not be like that towards my famly. Everyone would have their own opinion and choice, which will be weighed equally before any decisions are taken. It took me years to understand that the Indian social fabric is a bit different than I thought.




The time a someone becomes a, Forced Bachelor is usually considered to be hard on the guy. No one to put his life in order, no one to love him, no one to cook for him etc etc. But ironically for most normal married guys out there, the term "Forced Bachelor" is an oxymoron. The probability is higher that the guy was expectantly counting the days to his wife's visit to her parents house , or a trip to her brothers house . Now before you call me a cold hearted jerk, please hear me out. After a couple of years of marriage, a typical day could possible be -

Husband - comes back from office after a day filled with tiresome mindless meeting's and possibly a fight with his boss.

Wife - Opens door

Husband - "Hi"
Wife - "Helooo . How was the day .. you look tired. anything wrong in office"
Husband - " No its nothing much .. just some extra work"
Wife - " Come on.. its more than that. I am sure. Why dont you share your office problems with me. You never do. Mr G next door tell's his wife everything first thing he comes from office"
Husband - " Ok Ok .. I will explain. There is this new guy whom we recruited to streamline operations and there was a meeting with ...... "
Wife - Interupting " One sec, did you pick up the pudin hara I asked you to buy on the way back from office. "
Husband - "Oh no . I forgot "
Wife - " I desparately needed it . I dont know how I will go to sleep tonight. I think I am having gas trouble "
Husband- " Dont worry. I will go and get it now "
Wife - " No its ok. I will manage somehow . you were telling about your office"
Husband " Ok.. there is this new guy whom we recruited for .. "
Wife - " Sorry just one more thing. There is a mega sale at Big Bazaar this saturday. All items are so cheap. Will you promise to take me"
Husband " But what do we need now. We practically have everything here for even our grandchildren. from the past years series 'Mega Sales' at Big Bazaar, Viveks, and Shoppers Stop"
Wife - " You dont know what all are required to run a household. If my mother were here she could explain to you"
Husband - " No, I dont think that is necessary. I trust you. We will go. Now can I get back to my day in office"
Wife - " Sure . I am waiting to hear it. Promise you I wont interrupt now"
Husband - " Ok. There is this guy in office whom we ..."
Wife - " Just one last thing.. Soo sorry. I have to tell you thing right away. Do you know that Mrs D who lives in Apt # 503 is pregnant . With their fourth kid. "
Husband - " Oh I didnt know"
Wife - " Yes indeed. They just got to know today"
Husband - " Ah. That explains, why i didnt know about it !!"
Wife - " So please. Continue "
Husband " Well.. hmm .. it isnt much . I had an all day meeting. Thats why I am tired " ( Abandoning all hope of explaining the actual day )
Wife - " Ohh ..okk .. Thank you for sharing your day.. Lets go for a walk in the park. What do you say "
Husband - " Hmm. I am a little tired today. "
Wife - " You never come with me. You dont love me like you used to. You dont even buy things coming back from office , even if I remind you "
Husband " But I said I will go out and buy it now. you only told me that you didnt want it. It was a hard day and I forgot. "
Wife " I am not talking about today. Never mind. Its my fate"
Husband - " What !! .. now what does fate have to do with Pudin hara .."
Wife - " You wont understand " Sob..!!
Husband " Edaa.. dont cry. I am so sorry . I will make it up to you "

If you study the above conversation, you can see that the husband, though trying at every step to do what the wife want's, ends up being blamed for everything. It was after witnessing and and experiencing conversations similar to the above one, I started realising that in the Indian society, they guy may not be the one calling the shot's. He is just made to think he is. After having evening's similar this continously for months, it is only natural for a person to wish to be "Forced" to be a bachelor for a few days. It's not that He does not want a family at all. It is just to give a chance for the Peter Pan boy in each man, to surface, which at other times is brutally suppressed, in the name of being the "One who call's the shot's".

Now for the real story ... I was recently in the Forced Bachelor state, on account of my wife giving her MBA Exams in India, and me having to move to Fremont California for work. I stayed in the apartment, where we had stayed before and everyone knew my wife too. As I started meeting old friend's and families in the apartment, the first question from the ladies was " Where is Anu ?? ". When I replied that she would come after 2 months, maybe 3, the look on the face changed to " What..She left him out of the cage for 3 months. This is sacrilege. Against the Indian Womens code of handling husbands". The guys were of course happy. Since legally I was not a bachelor, they could come to my place in full safety on Friday nights and have a couple of rounds of Jack Daniels and blame the whole thing on me while going back. We had a pretty good time, and word got around that I was fuly enjoying my "Forced" Bachelor Days, and was also getting other husbands to hang out with me and the bachelor boy's. Soon the only question I was being asked was " When is your wife coming ". The guys were asking me because they wanted to know how many days they had left to chill, and the ladies were asking because they wanted to know when my parole is ending.

We had some good times though. It started off with Mr Tank, my friend from college , coming to my apartment from SFO for the weekend. after a couple of rounds of Jack daniel's, we stepped out for a smoke and were talkin about kerala politics ( like any other mallu's who get together )with great interest. We realised that we had locked the patio door with the key inside, and there was no way to get inside. It was 1 o clock in the night and we were freezing. we tried several attempts to open to door, including using a cigarette lighter to burn a hole in the think plastic of the patio door !!. In the end we decided to go to the only other bachelor, we hoped would be awake - Prad. We jumped the wall and wearing only banian's and short's, ran through the apartment complex to reach Prads apartment. Luckily Prad had just gone to sleep, and he woke up with our ringing. We had a a couple of rounds more of Jack and went to sleep. Got the key in the morning from Donna. We were joined by Tank's friends from accenture, and I too went a couple of days to SFO downtown and stayed with them. These new bachelor days were not as great as the ones I had before marriage, but I did have a lot of fun being an irresponsible brat once again. After a couple of months though, I really started missing the orderlyness of Married life, and wished my wife to be with me again. Look's like my wife has successfully converted me after all.

P.S This post is just for laughs and is not intended to be bad to women in any way.

A good times episode in sunny california for a change .. It was thanksgiving weekend and my friend Goally was just raring to take his Pontiac Grand prix for a loong drive .. Anu my wife was looking forward to doign some serious shopping, but Goally was like .. " I am going whether you guys come or not .. I will hit 880 South in the morning and will not lift my foot till the car reaches L.A. . Oh, By the way, I heard Thanksgiving deals are better in L.A" ... I think that last statement, clinched the argument for Goally cos she agreed to come ..

We hit the highway and by evening reached L.A.. We holed up in an inn in Torrance. In the morning we got up to go to Universal Studion, and during breakfast, made friends with the receptionist who was a sweet indian girl whose husband worked in TCS. After some chit chat, we started forUniversal Studios.. after all the rides and show's, in the evening we met up with Sreejith and Saneeja and saw Dhoom 2 in a theatre..

The next day we were planning to go to Disneyland.. But somehow we got feed back that it was more kiddish stuff. After wondering what to do for some time, we decided to go to San Diego.. With a small stop at Queen Mary, we started for San Diego, and reached by night, took a hotel room, and hit the Gas Lamp downtown district. There we had a couple of rounds in the Hard Rock cafe, after a stroll through downtown, retired for the night in our hotel room..

The next day we were debating on whether to go to Sea World, but Mexico's proximity was quite tempting, and with the usual Indian mentality, reaching the sign-board that read "Welcome to Mexico" and taking pic's, was an attractive proposition. Anyways we started for the border and in an hour reached a sign that read "Last US Exit".. Goally was quite apprehensive as he was on I 94 which meant that if he left US Soil, he will have to go to a US Consulate and stamp his passport to reenter the country. We took the exit and reached a tourist information center.. We asked the lady there if it was possible to cross the border without passports.. She asked us if we have US Driving Licences. We replied in the affirmative and she said "No Probs" .. One small piece of information we forgot to tell her was that we are not US Citizen's, which meant that any entry into Mexico was illegal.. Anyways we thought we will just reach the border and take a snap and come back .. We continued on the highway and reached the border. There was a huge sign that read "U-Turn into the US". We decided to turn back there.. Once we crossed the border, we found that the gates blocked our view to a sea of vehicles waiting at the border to enter the US. There was no way to take a U Turn, and we entered Mexico.. People say that if we enter Pakistan throught he Wagah border it feel's like India itself.. a la the song "Jaisa Des hai tera, waisa des hai mera" .. In this case it was like " Jaise Des hai tera, Ulta hai des mera. " Total chaos .. Dogs crossing .. Hawkers on the streets.. Welcome to the town of Tijuana in Mexico .. absolutely no signboard's we drove around for some time to find someone who knew english .. In the end we saw a police officer.. We were like

We: Hi Officer, we are from US.. we accidently crossed the border and would like to go back. Can you tell us the way.

Mexican Officer: You accidently crossed the border .... Hmmm

He speaks something in spanish to the guy standing next to him and they both laugh out loud.

we were wondering what was so funny because we didnt feel like laughing at all..

Mexican Officer: you guys go straight take left, then right , then go further ........ ( the guy went on for a few minutes and we were totally confused )..

We: Ok Sir . Thank you ( In our mind we decided to ask someone else)

As we strolled towards the car the officer said "Wait !!"

Mexican officer: This car does not have permission to enter mexico. Come with me to the police station. ( Luckily he thought we are US Citizens and didnt know that we ourselves were illegal entries ) .

We were like " Officer, Please officer .. it was an accident .. we didnt know there was no U Turn back into the US.. There was a sign but there were too many cars at the border .. blah blah blah .. " ...

Mexican Officer: Okk Okk .. I can let you go, but at the border, there will be the Mexican Border guards, and they will screw you royally if they catch you .. They are known to be very dangerous..

We : Oh oh .. what do we do know..

Mexican officer: I will get you to the border .. Thats a favour .. So what favour will you do for me in return.

We saw where he was getting at, and used our years of experience with the Bangalore and Chennai police and started negotiating. We agreed at $ 100 for a trip back to the border.. We found out how bribes are paid in mexico.. He asked me to put the money in the trunk of the car.. After I had done so he started walked towards the car and started talking loudly..." Open your trunk, let me see what you are carrying". Then he took the money from the trunk and said loudly" Okk Guys carry on" .. He started his bike and we followed him. When we saw the mexican border guards, we realised that without the police officer we would have been dead meat, even if we had found our way. He talked to the guards and i guess they entered into some sharing agreement for the $ 100 cos, they let us go.. Then we reached the 4 mile long queue of vehicles waiting to get into the US. We called up Shain who was in L.A at that time, if he knew anyone had crossed the border and were let it .. especially without passports. Shains quick check up with his contacts revealed one thing. The only thing certain on the Mexico Border is "Luck" if the guards turn you back to mexico, you are royally screwed.. Me and goally started saying all our prayer's . But in between all these incident's Madam anu is real cool .. She was looking at the stuff the mexican kid's were selling in between the queue and looking at the other's in the queue. I guess she didnt realise the danger we had just escaped, and probably might end up in .. At last after hours of waiting, we reached the border, and to our luck, the guard at our gate seemed quite tired, and he just took a look at my california license and waved us in .. It was once we reached the Freeway that we heaved a sigh of relief. We shuddered at the thought of spending a night in a mexican jail .. That was the end of our small Mexican adventure ..

This was the statement Shekhar Kapoor gave when he was trying to describe the character of Sunil in "Kabhi Haan Kabhin Naa" ..

When you look back at a so called ordinary life, we sometimes realise that it is those ordinary moments that make it so special.. Am I getting a little too philosophical.. Well..

One incident I remember is when my uncle came from the US to visit us. I was studying in 9th standard at that time. The only cycles available in india till that time were BSA SLR's and Hero ( Valiya Cycle ) .. The new cycle that had come on the market was "Street Cat"... with a straight handle.. like those cool BMX cycles you used to hear stories about from gulf returnee kid's. Only one Street Cat was sold in my home town of Chengannur and that was owned by a friend of mine. His name was Rajiv a.k.a "Motta". The whole school (including me) used to drool over his bike during the lunch break.. My uncle had come from the US of A and stayed at our house for one night. My school was 3 Kilometers away and I used to walk to it every day. My cycle ( a BSA SLR that I got after many years of pleading ) had been stolen a year ago when I went to church ( of all the places ). I could go in the morning's with my dad as my school was on the way to his office, but he used to go at 7:30 in the morning ( the only person in the kerala state electricity board who used to go that early ) and I didnt want to go at that time cos no one would be there in school at that time. That day when my uncle was there My dad went late.. It was time for me to go to school, so I called out to everyone " I am going to school ... Byeee " .. My dad ( I dont know if he was trying to show a little over concern in front of my uncle) said " I will drop you .." .. My uncle asked " How far is school .. and how do you go " . I said " Three Km's and I walk " .. After 20 years in the US, I guess my uncle found that a bit shocking.. Anyways, Dad dropped me to school that day , but when i came back , I saw that everyone was ready to go our the took out our old car ( Our old fiat ). I thought we were going to have masala dosa from Hotel Anu in chengannur, but the car stopped in front of Central Cycle store. My uncle asked me which cycle I wanted.. I was totally zapped. The cost of a Street cat was Rs 1600. I held my breath and pointed to the Street Cat. The shopkeeper told the price and my uncle did some mental calculcation and said "60 Dollars.. thats it..!! " ( 1 Dollar was around 23 bucks at that time) .. I got my cycle, and overnight became the envy of the whole school.. No other Bike or car for that matter gave me so much pride in riding till now.. Now Rs 1600 might seem ordinary, but I know how special it was for me.. :-) ..

This post is under editing .. So pls read with discretion .. or read later.. everything is arranged in the order it came to my head..

On August 20th 2000, Nine of us batchmates stepped onto theMadras Central Railway station platform. Balaji a.k.a Banni was coming back to his home town and the remaining eight were scheduled to join our first job, the very next day...

After seeing Alaipayuthey ( Saathiya's Tamil original ) in Bangalore, a few month's ago , I was very much looking forward to get on the metro .. and experience the magic of suburban train travel in India. We took the train from Chennai Central to Pallavaram where Banni's sprawling house was. The ride was good and I was hanging out of the door all the time. The next day we did not get lucky to get on the train, and had to take the bus to office. There we discovered that our dear HR manager who had hired us had completely forgotten about us arriving and had left for Malaysia. The backup manager was a Mallu and was like " I have no interest interest in getting you in till LP is back, but anyways since you have come, you can go and fill those form's. I will check up with her in between"..

We got into the job during the course of the week and I found that suburban train travel during weekday's was not like it was shown in Alaipayuthey ( Saathiya ) .. Probably they shot during the weekend's. But it was exciting neverthless. The number of people being transported using the system was mind boggling. And you dont have to go to Disneyland to experience fantastic thrill's. Anyway's a week went by and we were playing card's till the wee hours of the morning every day. By friday, we decided that we should find a house before Banni's Mom kick's us out ( Aunty with her hospitality told us that we could stay on if we needed though) . Searching for a house, we quickly discovered that a group of 8 Bachelor's are untouchable's in Chennai. You stay touchable till you are max a group of 3 -4 . House owner's used to go

" Ayoo Ette Bachelor's a .. Aandavaa .. illa veedu kodukke maatte.. Maximum Moonne pere " ..


" Eight Bachelor's .. My god.. no chance.. maximum three guy's "

after a lot of searching we finally met up with M, whom I would descibe as a bachelor tenant's dream.. Me and Manu had gone to meet her for the first time in a posh residential area near Mylapore.

Us: "Aunty there are eight of us. Is that a problem."
M: "I dont care if there are fifty of you there as long as you guy's can adjust. "
Us: "What's would be the deposit.."
M: "One Month's rent. I dont know why these houseowner's fleece their tenant's by taking 10 month's rent."

This was especially a relief for us as there were country fellow's like Thakidi with us who came with 500 bucks for house rent, house deposit and one month's food and stay in chennai.

Us: "Can we see the place."
M : "Sure .. here is the key .. its in Adyar, next to the signal. Its in Dev Apartments. Opposite to the Traffic Jam Restaurant. You cant miss it. If you like it, stay on. Just send me the rent. I have a son your age too , so i know how bachelor's can be. Pls do not make too much noise and have the neighbours call me. I hope I can trust you guy's"

Thus we found Dev Apartments, our abode for the next few months. After getting our house, work at office got into full swing. Our job was to give broadband internet connection's at home's and corporates. With the Dot com boom our schedules were always full and our target's were ever increasing. We went to all corner's of chennai, from the posh residential area's of Alwarpet and Annanagar, to shady places near the Chennai Port. Many incidences happened during these times :-) ..

I specially remember me and SK walking near Stella Maris college to a client's place, with cable in our hand's. One girl come's up and ask's us " Hey are you from the cable company. I am not able to get any channel's in my house ( next to the college )" .. Me and SK looked at each other. " Cable repairmen ?? " we are electronic's engineer's .. SK had a full bottle of rum that day. " I didnt study four years of engineering to become a cable guy" ... The news of our batchmates getting campus training in Infy , Wipro and Satyam amongst Golf courses, and five star treatment, didnt do our ego's any good. We consoled ourselves saying that the beginning of all big thing's are small.


Apart from the small downfall's life was made better by some great character's in office. I truly felt like Dilbert. There was Gun's .. the V.P, with his dumber than a blonde secretary Dolly .. Every day he used to come out of his cabin at precisely 11 A.M with a fantastic unrealistic idea to solve all our problems ,

Gun's " Guys .. I have a great idea to solve all operation's problem's. Let's have G Shiva head the Hub Operations and do some restructuring"

Manager Mr Joshi:" Sir there is a small
problem there. If you havent noticed, G Shiva left the company last week"

Gun's: " Ohh .. I didnt know that .. "

and he used to go back to his cabin .. in hibernation till next morning, for the next crackpot idea.


The funniest part used to be in the basement with customer support.. Thats where I met Ranjith, a.k.a killsbylook. I know only one guy who can talk on four different phone's , chat to 10 guys' and also chit chat with you at the same time. Some of the customer call's were quite hilarious. There were also the two girl's from Palakkad Engg College, S & S.. Also there was Manish from Sale's .. All of us used to have a pretty good time...


Evening's used to be at the Besantnagar beach taking in the cool breeze, and walking back in the night to our apartment. I remember, after a month of work, we got our first salary and ATM card's. No one knew how to use them, and we didnt want to make ourselve's look like fools in the already crowded HDFC ATM counter's. There were only a handful those at that time. Me and SK volunteered and took the bike at 12 in the night to the ATM in Besantnagar. after half an hour of experimenting, we figured out the process of withdrawing money from the ATM and went home with instruction's for other's and crisp hundred rupee note's from our first salary. We felt so proud of ourselves.

During this time, Banni used to be a source of unlimited entertainment. His joining date in Wipro was in november and he was in chennai. He used to come in with his Nokia a.k.a "Nokio" ( Means "have you seen" in mallu ) .. in those times when cell phone's were a rarity. We have never seen him use the phone for anything other than play snake. Bikku and Reju too joined us after some time . There was a good looking girl in the apartment complex next to us, and she used to "give the look" .. and everyone used to fall over each other trying to impress her in one way or ther other.

One person who joined us later, of whom we were fairy skeptical, but later came to know as a wonderful person , and who became a very good friend of mine is Zach. Zach had his unique flavour of Tamil which only he understood. For example for getting directions

Zach " Annaaa Santhome Enge Ponge "
Chennai Guy: " Nee Enne pesrathe .. poriyaathe "
Me : " Anna Santhome pokathake vazhi enna enne chodikkare "
Chennai Guy:" Okk .. ithe cathedral road, straight aa poyidungo marina beach varathe. ange nne right eduthe straught aa poyidungo .. Santhome ange thaane"
Zach: after we left " Edaa , ee Enge Ponge enne vechaal evide pokunne enne alle" ( Doesnt Enge Ponge Mean how to get there )
Me: " Athe nee avidoonne padhichu" ( Where did you learn that from)
Zach:" Njan ange assume cheythe" ( I assumed it )
Me:" Nee aaneda engineer.. Ellaam assume cheythonam" ( Now you are a true engineer. Keep assuming everything )

Zach used to be a tip top in his dressing and mannerism's most of the time, bordering on being snooty. A typical Thiruvalla achayan, he used to only eat from the best restaurants. But after a few week's, financial burden's caused him too to come down to our position. Me and Zach went to the thattu kada opposite our house. What ensued was one of the funniest episodes i have ever seen in my life, which has to seen get it completely. Zach wanted a Bull's Eye Egg, and the thattu kada guy had never heard of Bull's eye.. after fifteen minutes of a formally dressed Zach, showing all antic's possible to demonstrate, how a bull's eye is prepared, the thattu kada guy finally say's "Ooooo .. Aaaa Boi .. sheri no problem".. we were left wondering what is he going to make... it took 15 more minutes for us to discover that what the guys means by "Aaa Boi " is actually "Half Boil" , which is in fact Bull's Eye .. That was when Zach heaved a sigh of relief.

Major Saab also used to stay with us at that time had is to-be Biwi in Chennai. She was studying in the NIIT Next door to us. So from office, any customer visit's to adyar used to be handled by him for a while. And he used to go to her cousins place in chennai to have good food, and then gloat about it when he was back.

That was a time when we discovered the virtues of Yahoo chat.. all of us used to login from different hub's in the city, and conf .. Food was mainly from Traffic Jam, SaravanaBhavan, or Run's in Adyar. Once in a while we used to treat ourselves to the delicious Pizza at Adyar Bakery

Those time's were pretty fun..

I dont know whether to categorise this post as a Good Times Post.. but looking back I can definitely say that these event's have helped me see life in a better perspective. So I would like to share this here though I mostly put fun stuff in this blog. This post triggered off when I recently saw Mahesh Bhat's movie "Woh Lamhe" where he put his real life affair with a paranoid schizophrenic Parveen Babi on celluliod.

Q is a person very close to me. She has schizophrenia. Initially I found it very difficult to accept that Q , a personI knew as cheerful and lively, to have "voices in her head". Doctor's usually say that in the case of Schizophrenia, more treatment is given to people around the patient rather than the patient herself. This process is very difficult for the people around the patient because you have to accept a reality which all your senses dont conform to. After a long period of gong through this, I ended up facing a question of what is reality anyways?? . Do we have a right to tell that a person is nut's, when the person can hear a voice as clear as we do when we heard Martin Luther King go " I have a dream .. " .. Does the collective reality of the so called sane world supersede the individual reality of a person.. Now let me come to the next important thing when we talk about schizophrenia.. What is love People talk about love all day long, and say that love is about caring, understanding etc etc . Ask Karan Johar and you will get so many definitions of love than you can't handle. But my experience has made me understand that there is a love that even trancend's different world's and realities and is probably the only cure for Schizophrenia.

Ok, I am being mysterious here. so let me give an example. Supose you love someone very dearly. When you say that you love that person. what do you mean. Is it the way the person looks, act's , care's etc etc .. Well I will completely agree with you. That is also part of love.. Only a idiot would state love as some hazy cloud in the middle of Utopia, which is ununderstandable and mysterious..... But let's get deeper. Suppose the person you love the most in the world, comes and tell's you that in the morning that she can see the GoldenGate bridge while looking out of the window, and when you check, its the same old lawn. Hmmm .. When she persist's that she can see the bridge, you would obviously take her to a Psychiatrist because that's where you take people who talk about stuff that arent there.. ( In that case all the politician's should be in a mental asylum i guess ) ... . The Psychiatrist invariably, gives her thought control pill's that reduces her perception of the "other world" but unfortunately of also of this world!! .. Ya thats the best all thosed blood sucking Pharma companies could do so far.. You realise over some time that with these drug's, thougt you have reduced the symptom's of the so called insanity and releived you of a lot of inconvenience in front of the public, you have also partially killed the person you knew and loved.. You consult with the Doc again and if the Doc is good, he will tell you reality.. " Dear R .. This is incurable.. This lady can hear what she is saying as clearly as you can hear me" .. What would you do .. show more doctor's .. ?? .. you can do that for year's and keep telling yourself that there is hope.. This is the moment of truth. You have to decide whether you love this person or not... You can choose to keep this person as a vegetable with you out of sight of the world for the rest of the person's life.. I have seen love reach out to see the other person's world.. Ultimately if you want the person you love back, you will have to see that person's reality too.. That's the only thing that will allow the loved one to cope up with two realities and ignore the one that she know's you are seeing just for her. Life wont be easy, but I can tell you that taking the tough route always makes you realise that it was a better choice in the end. If God forbid something like this happen's to your loved one, do not reject the person or try to violently fight it. The best way is to reach out and accept the other person's reality too.

Rgds
Robs

This is about the time when Cathy came to the Garden City. . Much like the character in Emily Bronte's Wuthering Height's, Cathy is elegant and inspiring, and it was a pretty nice time with me Cathy and P.

In the initial meeting's I was trying to impress Cathy and took the " I Love animal's .... " line ..

Me: " Animal's are real cute.. In my Mom's house there are so many animal's .. There are Cats, Dog's, Cow's, Goats, Goose, Turkey's, Pigeon's, Rabbit's Hare's .. etc etc (Thats true for the record ) ... When I settle down, I will have at least a nice cute little goat in my house along with my dog.. I adore Aattinkuttikal ( kid goat ) "

Cathy: " That sounds nice .. I hope you do .. "

Well things would have been fine, and we went on to other "Blah Blah Blah " .. In the evening I took Cathy out to dinner and of all the things on the menu, without thinking I ordered Lamb Chops.. Cathy patiently waited till half way into her vegan meal, and then said..

Cathy : "Now I know why you need a nice cute little goat in your house when you settle .. So that you eat the poor thing when you want.. You A$$#@!# .. Now dont give me any crap about animal's "

I actually liked goat's, but didnt do too much of introspection of my liking. I was probably talking more that I actually felt inside... But I knew Cathy would have none of that .. That day i learnt an invaluable lesson .. When in doubt, or otherwise, speak the truth .. Dont even exaggerate.. If you cant speak the truth, dont speak..... But .. I didnt know that my next lesson would come very soon...

We were driving in my car on the ring road, Cathy was telling me that she used to drive. I took out my standard line of .. "Drive my car .. be my guest " .. I was pretty certain that she would chicken out as I had seen other's, when they sat behind the wheel and saw Bangalore's frightening traffic. I parked on the side and she took the wheel .. For the next 30 minute's I prayed the most passionate prayer ever in my life.. Cathy didnt know too much how to drive, but was determined to at least die trying on the Outer Ring road .. I was just collateral damage i guess.... Anyways after a lot of pleading she stopped the car and I had already learnt the next lesson.. Never challenge girl's without thinking. They might actually do what they say no matter what.

It was colorful time hanging around the DTP center, Wimpy's and the disc's with P and T. P used to dance pretty well and used to set the pace of the leg shaking.. Listening to Air Supply and looking at the star's were some crazy activities, which now seem's straight out of Karan Johar's Junkyard .. Cathy used to like the movie What Dream's may come which I saw recently.. A very colorful movie .. One line I particularly like in the movie is when Dr Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams ) says " Its not about understanding. Its about not giving up .. ".. if you believe in a soulmate this is a movie for you... I have the movie on my laptop... .. Dude's, should see it sometime.

What Dream's may come...